i hate it when someone asks me what my favorite work of art is because i can’t say “the one of the woman chilling on the rocks with a dragon lying in her lap and giving off powerful big dick energy” but how else am i supposed to describe it
this is the definition of living deliciously
This is Dragon Resting It’s Head On The Lap of a Woman by Robert Leinweber
We will literally never progress past biphobia until people realize that bisexuals in het relationships are still having a queer experience by virtue of being bisexual, we do not magically oscillate between gay enough and too straight. I’m going to maul someone to death.
it should be illegal to ask for previous experience if youre offering minimum wage. so you admit that the skill is essential to the job, you dont want to pay to train someone, but youre not willing to pay experienced prices? 🤨
sorry this was going to be a tags addition because I only get to use my coated pantone swatchbook like 6 times a year when i have a new enamel pin to design, but…
me: [posting in the maid gc] yeah my lady screamed at me and threw bottles at my head cus i talked while she was reading her novellas again. any advice
maid 1: poison her
maid 2: yea poison her
maid 3: i have a connect on some really strong untraceable poisons if you want
me: girls she makes me try all of her food before she eats it how am i gonna poison her
maid 1: put it in her mouth while she sleeps
maid 2: ^this. worked like a charm for my sister
maid 3: yeah dm me i have a bunch of techniques that might work
maid 4: have you tried seducing her? maybe she just needs to have her heart warmed so she may show you the kindness you deserve
maid 2: MARY
maid 1: cmon mary
maid 3: just because YOUR lady has sex with you doesn’t mean everyone’s lady does
me: no wait she does like to put her fingers in my mouth to check if i swallowed her food. and i’m pretty sure she squeezed my ass once
maid 4: yeah exactly. message me i can tell yoy more
maid 3: whatever. if you need the poison just hit me up
maid 5: girls do you know how to get wine out of satin
more vampires with multigenerational adopted human offspring. they wake up, get the tykes ready for pre-school, beg their preteen not to get caught on their phone in class again (caught being the emphasis, they’re a realist), venmo their college kid for “textbook money” (as if they don’t teach all their kids how to pirate that shit), have a lunch meeting with their 49-year-old-realtor-kid to discuss the possibility of quietly buying another local warehouse that would absolutely not be used for tax evasion/illegal artifact storage purposes, then spend the afternoon in a bloodthirsty mahjong battle at their eldest kid’s (82) snazzy new retirement community
and then after everyone’s bedtime they eat people or whatever
ALT
ALT
